I'm just wonering | shayisboss's Blog

Does anyone ever respond to the blogs on here? I've noticed that I'm always getting like all these views but never any responses. Idk. I was just wondering. But while I'm writing this blog I may as well say that this winter break is going to be like completely impossible. I can't bear to be away from these people. Idk how I'm going to spend my junior and senior year without them. I haven't told anyone that I'm leaving yet. Mostly because I don't want to go. I already have a bunch of my old friends upset with me because I left them, and now I have to do it again. I could always emancipate myself from my parents, but I wouldn't have the heart, strength, nor courage to do so. And after I'd do it, I'd have no way to survive. Like yeah sure people would take me in and all, but what would I look like doing that? What kind of a daughter would I be to say, "No. I don't want to spend my last two years under your surveillance. I don't want to live with you and I don't want to come back home." I'd be such a horrible person. But the truth is, I don't want to go "home". I've had such an impact made on my life since I've been living here. I've been reconnected with God, I've become a LOT more self confident, I'm eating again, laughing again, making real friends, getting rid of all the bad people in my life, accepting new people into my life who truly want the best for me. I've connected immensely with my sister. I've started singing again. I'm expressing myself. 6 months ago, I was shy beyond belief, I had little self worth, I was afraid of the people who I was supposed to trust, I wasn't eating, I just wanted the first guy who showed some sort of interest, I didn't think I had any talent, I allowed people to make me feel like crap and I'd always agree with them. I was weak. I've completely changed, and yes, I've had some stumbles along the way, but I'm glad to be where I am now. I am looking at life in a whole new way. It is so different in this new light. I am excited, I mean really excited to go to this new church. I like it so more being Presbyterian than being Baptist. It was a little different at first, but it completely fits me. The youth group there is amazing. The love,care, support, and personal attention there is amazing. They're not just a congregation and a pastor. They're a family. We're a family. I'm a part of that family now and yes I know that we may not be blood related, but they've shown me so much love and compassion, you'd  swear that we were. I've never seen my old church work the way that this one does. I mean, the pastor at this church, she'll actually take the time to stop and talk to every single attendee of each service every single Sunday. My sister's family and I were just invited to lunch today by people who, yes. they are great friends, but we're not completely close...

I'll finish this post later.

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Posted on 02:53PM on Dec 24th, 2012
sounds like your new life is really a perfect fit. I've prayed that God give you wisdom with all your choices. :)
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Previous Posts
Starting Confrmation Classes soon, posted January 28th, 2013
Sorry guys, posted January 18th, 2013
I'm just wonering, posted December 23rd, 2012, 1 comment
I love you auntie, posted November 29th, 2012
Missin U., posted November 26th, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012, posted November 25th, 2012
Blaghaghh, posted November 24th, 2012

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