Hey EP! Hope all is well in your worlds. Mine, as I am very happy to say, hasn't been too bad. Friday was like any other day. I went to school, stayed quiet, snuck out of lunch, laughed with friends, and didn't have rehearsals. Best part of the day was when I unintentionally scheduled a rehearsal with AMTC in Philly this Saturday... with no way to get there, and no clue what I'm doing!!! It was an honest mistake but now I really want to go! I've been looking at colleges to go to and this would be lovely on a application. Plus, I like the idea of singing, dancing, modeling, and acting for God. It gives me warm fuzzies. Saturday was my day of silence. It was actually really easy. It made me do a lot of thinking and I really liked it. I only talked once and that was to scream at my nephew because he was acting like a jerk. What's new... But I did do a lot of thinking. I mean I actually sat down and "inventoried" myself. Kind of wierd, I know, but I disected myself to the point where I was discovering stuff that I didn't even know. It wasn't too bad. I'm actually considering doing it every Saturday. Sunday, I went to church bet ended up skipping (I know, I'm going to hell in a gasoline drenched handbasket :0) and going to school to help with the set building and painting. We sang Call Me Maybe about fifty times and S&M even more, which was extremely awkward. When my teacher got to the part where Rihanna sings, "I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it," and tries to skip the next part, I still belt out, "Sex in the air, I don't care! I love the smell of it!" I'm kind of glad we had a snow day today... Especially since the girl that I go to church with was there and it was one of those moments where she's just like any other teen girl so she didn't really care but the knowledge of the fact that I do go to church kinda made it awkward. Later that night, I went to the confirmation orientation. I was extremely shocked when I saw N there. Like he'd been considering getting confirmed but I never really expected him to show up. I'm glad that he did. Having a mentor for the next 8 weeks will be really good for him. It'll be good for me too. I think we both need it. I'm new to all of this in a way (Like I've been going to church since the day my mom took me home from the hospital but as a kid who grew up baptist, this is kinda different, but in a good way.) But yeah, the night ended with a very strange dream that is kind of hard to explain. I was on the run from these people who were trying to steal this credit card from me. They ended up framing me for something and I had to hide from a swat team. The guy who went looking for me almost found me but didn't. Then when they left my house, someone tried to sneak in my house through the window so I began faking seizures. Turns out the person was my mom and when she saw me, she tried to figure out what was wrong with me and ended up just shoving two pills down my throat. I didn't trust her though and the entire time I was thinking about the wallet and hoping that she wouldn't find it. I didn't trust anybody in the dream. Then I woke up. DUH! Today has been SWEET! There's no school due to a snow storm which is like a major bummer but other than that it's been great. I've been doing a little Valentine's Day (Worst day of the year for me) shopping (why not take advantage of the discounts?) and discovered that Amazon is having like a major sale and selling all this stuff for like .01. No, that's not a typo. They're literally, only a penny!!! Like I spent a dime on stuff that would've been like $653.35... LOVING IT! Well, it's been real. It's been fun. But it hasn't - oh screw it! Love you guys! I'm going back to shopping!
Hey. I'm sorry I haven't blogged in a while. When I first got back from OC I had this huge blog which wasn't even half way finished typed out on here all about my experience and how wonderful it was. In the middle of me typing, my big sister went through one of her fits and threw something at the keyboard causing everything to be deleted. I was so upset that I didn't even want to blog anymore (like ever), even after she'd given me an apology. Whatever, it wasn't the first time and it won't be the last. I've been in and out of the hospital lately so I'm not going to spend as much time as I did before on this blog about the trip but what I will say is that it was amazing. I bonded with God in a way that I never even thought possible. I am so in tune with Him now. 7 months ago, this would not me coming out of my mouth (or fingers I guess...) but now, I don't know where I'd be without Him. This trip helped me realize that. I laughed, I cried, I pushed and shoved people, got pushed and shoved by people (3,000 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th graders: there was a lot of shoving going around.) I hugged complete strangers like I'd known them for years (free hugs signs helped), I danced my heart out, and best of all, I discovered that not only do I love Heavy metal, but that it is just as awesome with Christian lyrics as it is with any other lyrics. That weekend was amazing. Whether my mom forces me to go back to live with her or not, I will be going to the 2014 Youth rally and I strongly encourage all of you to go as well. Trust me, it is not boring or dreadful at all. For a second, I almost forgot that I was at a Christian event, while I was completely in tune with God. I have never felt this way before. It was seriously amazing. Cameron, Lexi and I stayed out on the balconies every night from about 11:30 at night to 3:00 in the morning. We all had a beautiful view of the ocean and the moon shone perfectly over it. The cold was practically killing us three yet we were bonding in a way that may never happen again. You see, while Lexi and I are friends, we never really talk or hang out. I'm very shy around Cam and never really hang with him either, although after the trip, we have talked a lot more. Those three days, we were so close, you'd assume we'd known each other forever. The two of them have, but me, I'm the city orphan. I've been passed through so many towns and friends, we can never keep track with one another. I've never been able to reminice on past events, or memories like every one else I know. This weekend, is something that I will be able to look back on for the rest of my life. I love EPC and I am so blessed to have them as a family. Back to what I was saying though, The 2014 youth rally's theme is Ransomed. It is HOT! The dates are listed on the website so CHECK IT OUT!!! Seriously guys! You won't regret this!
My mood: extremely alive
Does anyone ever respond to the blogs on here? I've noticed that I'm always getting like all these views but never any responses. Idk. I was just wondering. But while I'm writing this blog I may as well say that this winter break is going to be like completely impossible. I can't bear to be away from these people. Idk how I'm going to spend my junior and senior year without them. I haven't told anyone that I'm leaving yet. Mostly because I don't want to go. I already have a bunch of my old friends upset with me because I left them, and now I have to do it again. I could always emancipate myself from my parents, but I wouldn't have the heart, strength, nor courage to do so. And after I'd do it, I'd have no way to survive. Like yeah sure people would take me in and all, but what would I look like doing that? What kind of a daughter would I be to say, "No. I don't want to spend my last two years under your surveillance. I don't want to live with you and I don't want to come back home." I'd be such a horrible person. But the truth is, I don't want to go "home". I've had such an impact made on my life since I've been living here. I've been reconnected with God, I've become a LOT more self confident, I'm eating again, laughing again, making real friends, getting rid of all the bad people in my life, accepting new people into my life who truly want the best for me. I've connected immensely with my sister. I've started singing again. I'm expressing myself. 6 months ago, I was shy beyond belief, I had little self worth, I was afraid of the people who I was supposed to trust, I wasn't eating, I just wanted the first guy who showed some sort of interest, I didn't think I had any talent, I allowed people to make me feel like crap and I'd always agree with them. I was weak. I've completely changed, and yes, I've had some stumbles along the way, but I'm glad to be where I am now. I am looking at life in a whole new way. It is so different in this new light. I am excited, I mean really excited to go to this new church. I like it so more being Presbyterian than being Baptist. It was a little different at first, but it completely fits me. The youth group there is amazing. The love,care, support, and personal attention there is amazing. They're not just a congregation and a pastor. They're a family. We're a family. I'm a part of that family now and yes I know that we may not be blood related, but they've shown me so much love and compassion, you'd swear that we were. I've never seen my old church work the way that this one does. I mean, the pastor at this church, she'll actually take the time to stop and talk to every single attendee of each service every single Sunday. My sister's family and I were just invited to lunch today by people who, yes. they are great friends, but we're not completely close...
I'll finish this post later.
I just found out that my aunt died recently. She was an amazing part of my life and I can't help but be thankful for the 14 years that I was able to spend with her and the 15 years that she's been a part of my life. I love her immensely and can't wait to see her in heaven one day. Aunt Mondell, you mean the world to me. When you first became sick, I constantly wondered how this could happen to the same woman who would contantly know how to be the best friend while keeping us in line. From the time that you pulled glass out of my feet to the day that you smashed cake in my face, you never ceased in making me smile. I love you with all my heart. You will always be that woman that called me Baby Lovie whether you were cooking me my favorite noodles or whoopin my butt. You were full of love and care and just plain sweetness that had even the baddest boys in the hood respecting you. You mean the world to so many people and I can't wait to see you again. I will not be upset about your death because I know that God has ended your suffering. I love you Auntie. Fly with Christ my love.
My mood: extremely depressed
Hey guys. This is just a shout out to all of my besties from Jersey. I miss you guys so much! You have no idea. There are days when I wish that I were back home with you but I know that God allowed me to stay in MD with my sister for a reason. You guys mean so much to me though! Dan, you've inspired me so much this year. When I first started theatre, I didn't know anyone, how to act, or even some of the theatre terms that you've taught me. You are truly the best big brother friend dude that I've ever had. I hope you're having a great time in college. Lorna, Madeline, Drew D., Anthony C, and everyone else, thank you for being such great friends to me! You really made me feel like I was a part of a theatre family and I will never forget everything that you've taught me. I love you all! Ben, I never meant to hurt your feelings as much as I did in 9th grade. Mrs. Onyx, maybe one day you'll be nicer to students and be a better person. I'm praying for you. Mr. Bonnet, thank you for bringing me into your chess family. I really loved it. Mr. Melograna, thank you for teaching health in a way that didn't make me want to stab my eyeballs out. Despit your Eagles fandom, you still rock. Hisch, thank you for being an awesome CPS teacher. I'll never forget it. Mrs. Walsh, thank you so much for being there to always talk to about my daily life drama. It really means alot to me. Nadia, thank you for introducing me to a world of fashion that I now know I don't need. I don't need to wear the most expensive things to feel comfortable and I'm content with who I currently am. Chance, thank you for breaking up with me. You saved me alot of trouble. Anthony C, thank you for being so supportive of me. You are a great friend and one day, you're gonna find a girl who is going to be beyond crazy about you. Niko G. you had great hair. Noelle, thank you for being just overly awesome. I love you so much sweets! Nancy, you're the best Asian "pimp" I've every had... (well you're the only pimp I've ever had... :P) Susan, Stephanie, Zhanera, and all the other kids who bullied me to the point of wanting to end my life... thank you. Because of you I am planning on making sure that guys like you go down... (the legal way of course.) Anyone else That I haven't mentioned, you guys still mean the world to me. I love you all. Bye!
~S.W.is.H Fly With Christ!
Ok. So Sunday school like rocked today. I just love it at EPC! They were right when they said that I'd joined a family. I love everyone there. They're all just so loving and respectful. No, I don't completely feel like I fit in there but it's not their fault. It's just the way I've always been. Welp... Enough about my self esteem issues of the day :P. Just wanted to say I'm totally glad that Dad's feeling a lot better and Mo's voice is starting to come back! yay. well this is my official second blog... still no clue how these things work :P. g'night all! and see you in school in 10 hours!
My mood: extremely alive
Hey guys!!!!!!!!! It's my first blog so I doubt anyone is reading this but HOLA!!!!! i have no clue what to write here so I'm jsut gonna blab for a second. Ok so like everyone in the house is sick right? Well me and my trusty immune system are going to try and stay intact for my big sis so I can help her at home while she's recovering. Shawswagsomeness to the rescue! Get better Mo!!! Iloveyou! <3
My mood: extremely nerdy
Previous PostsStarting Confrmation Classes soon, posted January 28th, 2013
Sorry guys, posted January 18th, 2013
I'm just wonering, posted December 23rd, 2012, 1 comment
I love you auntie, posted November 29th, 2012
Missin U., posted November 26th, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012, posted November 25th, 2012
Blaghaghh, posted November 24th, 2012
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